185. Panic, panic, panic

So the next event is cycling, and it's for 110 miles (plus a little warming up at the start and warming down at the end - why?? Why??!!) and there are hills. Many, many hills...

Given I found the 65 miles through the joys of Yorkshire somewhat hard work, and light conditions mean that I'm not able to really take Boris out for a spin during the week... I've been in head-down panic training for a while. Well, as panicked as my training ever gets.

Mostly this has involved a commitment to going to RPM at 7am of a morning. Over, and over again... Blooming hard work - but it's only 45 minutes and so I worry that I might now be able to climb one hill better than before, but still cannot do so repeatedly over 110 miles...

Panic, panic, stress, stress, eeek!

A sensible person would bemoan the half-hearted training to date (you can't drag yourself up to the proper levels of fitness at the last minute)... But mostly I just bemoan the need sportive organisers seem to feel to put hills in everywhere. I mean, cycling 110 miles is a bit of feat in itself - are the hills really necessary?? I say no. And I shall undoubtedly be saying that even more firmly in the very near future...

:o}

Today's stats:
RPM - 45 mins [zone-shaming, hill climbing, continue]

Saturday 29th stats:
Bodybalance - 1 hr [ohm... Erm, is this supposed to be quite this hard?!]

Friday 28th stats:
RPM - 45 mins [zone-shaming, hill climbing, continue]

Wednesday 26th stats:
RPM - 45 mins [zone-shaming, hill climbing, continue]

Saturday 22nd stats:
Bodybalance - 1 hr [blimey, that was hard work - that doesn't seem right...?!]

Friday 21st stats:
RPM - 45 mins [zone-shaming, hill climbing, continue]

184. Lights of shame

The desperate search for fitness has begun.

Triumphant return to RPM class to find that it is a new and improved RPM class. The room has been refurbished - nice new slogan "It never gets easier, you just get better" (ah, if only that were true!) - and there are new static bikes. Compared to the old ones... The bikes are no more comfortable to sit on (unfortunately). They can be adjusted in practically every direction so as to "fit" you perfectly - which means I now have no idea how to get a comfortable position out of them (do I adjust the seat height, the handlebars, the seat position or all 3? Or none? Or... Aaargh!): frankly, expecting me to be able to deal with complexity before 7am of a morning is unrealistic. And the resistance lever is now a resistance wheel which led to me routinely lowering resistance when I meant to turn it up, and vice versa.

But the bikes have one more shiny new feature. They have lights. You're supposed to use the bikes in conjunction with a heart rate monitor (which you can hire for a small fee.. Hmmm...), but you can set them up by entering some basic personal statistics. Then, as you cycle along, they change colour to show which "zone" you are working in. Not that I understand the "zones", but the colours are fairly easy to follow (there's a chart on the wall). I am sure that this sounds like a great idea, but... This basically means that the bike is providing a running commentary on how hard it thinks you're working - and it's very judgemental. Not only that, but this is not a private moment between you and the bike - oh, no. The entire room can see your colour.

I can only describe this as zone-shaming. Before, you could push yourself quietly in the corner to whatever degree of effort you decided to be pushing. Now, pushing effort is defined by the bike and everyone knows when you are not making the grade.

I may have to start wearing a mask to RPM classes in order to keep the shame to a minimum. Or cycle harder. So many choices, so little time.

:o)

Today's stats:
RPM - 50 mins [with emphasis on really hard hill climbing]

183. Livin' on a Prayer

We're half-way there! Just over 279 miles done and dusted! Woo-hoo!!

The latest effort was a rather sunny York 100. Which was rather hard work not least as (a) I had been busy "resting" my injured calf and thus had done no recent training, and (b) there were proper hills to be conquered. It was worthwhile (over half-way there), and the scenery was more interesting than other sportives I've done (there was a nice long downhill section through a valley which was stunning - shame about the horrific climb beforehand!). But it did destroy me utterly, and, all things considered, I'm really going to have to be able to cycle both longer and more importantly faster in short order (or there'll be trouble!). No idea how to do that really - but I'm sure that I'll come up with something eventually...

Once I'd gone through about the 50 mile mark, I'd pretty much had enough. I was very tired, at which point everything is unutterably aggravating. Internal conversation going something like:

- Why is this road flat? I don't like flat - requires too much cycling. Why can't there at least be a slight decline?? Why??!!
- Why am I still on the bike? Why am I still cycling? This is painful. I really, really, don't want to be sitting down on this bike any more. 5 minutes peace - that's all I ask for!!
- Insects, why do you plague me so?? Get off! Get off! And stop falling down inside my sunglasses! Begone, pesky critters, begone!!!!
- Oh, look, big group of cyclist speeding past me. That's nice. Yes, yes, I'm very slow. Thanks for rubbing it in. No, no, don't wait around and let me draft behind you, on you go, disappear into the distance. Hmph.

Incidentally, on that note, I know that people are trying to be encouraging, but... When passing a really slow cyclist (on an ascent or anywhere else), you should please resist upbeat phrases like "Keep on pedalling!" and "Just go at your own pace." and "Not long now - keep going!". Deeply, deeply irritating. Am I pedalling valiantly onwards? Am I still on the bike? Am I heading in the right direction? Then I'm already pedalling on at my own pace and not looking like I'm about to stop, amn't I?!?!?! Gah! Oh, and "It's all downhill from here!" is only acceptable encouragement when it's 100% true - noting that towards the end of a sportive even a very small incline is very much not downhill. Which really should be obvious...

Anyway, yesterday was something of a hard-worked minor triumph and I'm off to find some Prosecco to celebrate (couldn't yesterday as had to go to bed early because, well, destroyed).

Onwards! (Faster!!)

:o)

Yesterday's stats:
Cycling - 65 miles, 7 hours 0 mins 37 secs [in my defence, this includes stopping at feed stations...]

182. Operations

What with one thing and another - malingering calf, general lack of training, fear of the mountain to cycle ahead - I am now abandoning plans for the Proclaimers Challenge.

Yes indeedy, no more plans for me.

After a certain number of plans, one starts to run out of letters of the alphabet (what am I on now, Plan F? Plan G? Plan AA?). A new way forward is called for.

And that way forward is Operations. Specifically, at the moment, Operation Get Off The Sofa. You see how simple that is? No need to keep track of how many Operations it takes to complete one relatively simple Challenge - just a nifty title and off you go.

Operation Get Off The Sofa is at an early stage and is thus necessarily concerned at this time with goals, motivation and visualisation. Yes, that's right, I have a goal to get off my rehab sofa, I have the motivation of another crackpot event taking place this weekend, and so I am visualising myself doing the exercise and training necessary to achieve this goal.

Any day now I'll move on from visualising the training and start actually doing said training...

But I don't want to rush things. Better safe than sorry. Achieving the overall mission objectives is far more important in the long run. At the end of the day. Going forward. And so forth.

:o)

Yesterday's stats:
Walking - 3.5 miles, 57 mins [starting out slowly to re-build some fitness... Very slowly...]

181. Thither and thon

Now where was I...?

If I remember correctly, I was languishing on the sofa with a damaged leg, not-entirely-seriously bemoaning my need to have a rest from training... Hmmm... Well, not much has changed. Except since then:

I've taken up irregular swimming (which I have even less talent for than any other sport tried to date).

I've walked a Race for Life 10k.

I've toured Dublin's fair city - well, at least 7 miles of it.

I've done another "run" and my left calf is once more in a mood.

I've found some chocolate in my fridge (my fridge is good that way) and am now contemplating how best to consume it (savour? Or consume? Decisions, decisions...).

Not a lot, really...

:o)

Saturday's stats:
Walking - 7.16 miles, 2 hrs 44 mins [Strolling around in the sunshine.]


Sunday 26th July's stats:
Walking - 10k, 1 hr 49 mins [In torrential rain. And a bit of wind. Fun!]